What if there is no more....

One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore".

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, or "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents.

We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close! Live today because tomorrow is not promised “…, never put off for tomorrow what can be done today.”

Naturally we all think that we will live to be old and gray....In a perfect world, we would all live long enough to see our children grow up, get married, have kids of their own, and watch those grandchildren grow. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way..its very unpredictable!

No one but God knows when the day will come that we will say goodbye to this life and move on to the next.

So live life to the fullest now and not later..stop waiting for a special occasion to wear those new shoes or that perfect dress..make a reason to wear them.

Stop waiting to take that trip that you have dreamed of for so long but haven't taken cause you are waiting for your kids to grow up and graduate.

Be sure to always take time out to tell your family and friends that you love them and what they mean to you.

Never let a petty disagreement cause you not to speak to someone because you may never get the opportunity to resolve it!

Live, Laugh, Love!

Tiff

What is MS???

So since I just threw you into this world 

Let me explain what MS exactly is...

Multiple sclerosis (MS) is an unpredictable, often disabling disease of the central nervous system that disrupts the flow of information within the brain, and between the brain and body.

 

 So basically my body is just as stubborn as me 

and wants to fight the biggest person in the yard!

They call it the snowflake disease because the way it affects individuals is different

One person could be in a wheelchair while another one is running marathons but they are both suffering just the same. 

In my suffering, I deal with numbness and tingling on the left side of my body mostly in my arm and leg.

I can sleep all day and still wake up feeling like I only slept an hour

My body aches and hurts but I still try to pretend that I'm fine cause I don't want to be looked at has the sad little woman that's sick cause that has never been me

 

I'm the feisty 5'1 black chick that ain't scared of nothing and nobody

Well unless you are talking about mice, snakes, frogs, and closed in spaces

but that's besides the point

I'm not scared of anything else!  

Trust me I have had my moments where I brokedown and questioned why me

but thankfully I have a good support system whom won't allow me to attend that pity party for too long 

So I might weep and whine for a bit then it's back to business as usual!

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the princess of MS!

 

 So this whole journey started one warm Texas day in June 2011

 

Now I have had my share of hospital visits in my past however this experience had to be the

SCARIEST ever!!

I honestly felt like my life was over and I was on my way to the Upper Room!

(I can laugh about this now)I had been sick for about a week with a major headache and dizziness which was associated with my high blood pressure issues. By Sunday I had finally had a breakthrough and my headache had ceased so I assumed it was okay to go to the grocery store. Away I go to tackle H-E-B which sometimes enough to drive anyone crazy. After checking out I was headed to my car I started feeling bad kinda like I was going to pass out. I get groceries in the car and head home driving 20 mph.

Once I get home things went absolutely crazy!

My face started to tingling and my lip felt numb and like it was dangling from my face...after that my right hand, arm, chest, and diaphragm felt like it all went completely numb. I tried telling everyone that I felt as if I was dying however I was unable to speak. The paramedics finally get me on the stretcher and off we go to the hospital! No one was really sure what was going on to have caused all this so lots of test were run from blood work to a CAT scan(which showed no sign of stroke). It was determined that my potassium was low so I was admitted into the hospital. I was still having issues on my right side so one doctor ordered an MRI before I could leave.

After 3 days I would do whatever it took to get out of there. They gave me the little pill to help relax you because I'm very claustrophobic. I survived that trauma, they took me back to my room, and I patiently waited on my walking paper. After about 30mins, I see the same nurse who took me down for the MRI coming back in with the wheelchair and she says that I have to do it again this time with contrast...the whole ride down I'm shaking like a leaf..they wheel me up to the machine and I lose it. I ask if they can give me another sedative because I'm scared (don't judge me). They tell me that they can't give me anything but the other nurse offers to hold my hand and she does the entire time. If you have never had a MRI you won't understand the torture..its a big tunnel that is so loud they give you ear plugs to help with the noise while in the machine.

After I cried like a big baby and the MRI was done...I was taken back to my room to wait for the doctor to come and say "all clear, go home". Unfortunately it didn't quite happen that way. The neurologist who I must add had a terrible bed side manner walks in  the room, turns off the tv without asking I might add and just starts asking what I felt were weird questions
 Him: "have you ever done drugs"
Me: "No"
Him: "have you had any head trauma"
Me: "ummm no"
Him: "well your brain has grey matter and white matter, you have spots on the white matter of your brain"
then he walks out like he didn't just say that. I felt like he had one of those drop mic moments

 I'm left there just sitting there thinking WTF just happened

The nurse comes in gives me my discharge papers and home I go

More confused than I was when I first got there

 

Of course I had to go home and research what that meant and I kept getting the same result

"MULTIPLE SCELORSIS"

What the hell is that and how did I get it! And more importantly how do I get rid of it.

Little did I know many ups and downs I would face over the next 2 yrs. Being poked, probed, scanned,  and popping so many pills folks who didn't know me would swear I was a drug addict.

Finally in April 2013, I was given my final diagnosis of MS.

 

And good Lord what a journey this has been!

 



 

Welcome to my world

Thank you for taking time out of your day to click on my little out blog and have a look see.

 

Let me introduce myself...my name is Tiffany and I'm 39.5, yes I said half cause I will be the big 40 in August and I still look good!

 

I am a mother, sister, daughter, niece, aunt, coworker, and friend. I love to see others smile and laugh what my daughter calls my big ugly laugh.

 

Oh and by the way I have a lots of little white sprinkles on my brain that light up when they want to feel special and the doctor named them MS.

 

 

 

So join me on this crazy journey to the land of "Who the hell know"